Dating can be exciting, fun, and full of possibility—but it can also be emotionally exhausting when you’re not watching out for the right signs. Knowing the red flags to watch for in early dating can save you from wasted time, heartbreak, and even toxic dynamics down the road.
In this article, we’ll break down some of the most common red flags that people often overlook in the honeymoon stage. Whether you’re back on the apps or dating IRL, these tips will help you date smarter and trust your gut.
1. They Love Bomb You Immediately
If someone is showering you with compliments, texting nonstop, and dropping the “L” word within days of meeting, take a step back. While it might feel flattering, love bombing is often used to gain control early on.
2. They Avoid Talking About Their Past
Everyone has a history, and while it’s okay not to share everything upfront, a total lack of transparency—especially about past relationships—can be a red flag.
If someone dodges basic questions like “When was your last relationship?” or “What are you looking for now?”, they might not be emotionally available or honest about their intentions.
3. Their Words Don’t Match Their Actions
A key red flag in early dating is inconsistency. If they say they want to see you but constantly reschedule, or they’re “all in” but won’t commit to a second date — that’s your cue.
👀 Want to understand more about inconsistency in dating? Read this great piece on mixed signals and how to respond.
4. They Cross Boundaries (Even Small Ones)
Respecting boundaries is foundational in any healthy relationship. If someone ignores your requests, pushes for intimacy before you’re ready, or mocks your opinions — even as a “joke” — it’s a red flag.
Early boundary crossing is often a precursor to more serious control issues later on.
5. They Speak Negatively About All Their Exes
Healthy people can reflect on past connections with balance — acknowledging both the good and the not-so-good — without vilifying former partners.
6. You Feel Drained, Not Energized
Your body knows what your brain is trying to ignore. If you consistently feel anxious, second-guess yourself, or emotionally drained after interactions — that’s not a good sign.
Early dating should feel light, exciting, and mutual. If it feels like emotional labor early on, trust that instinct.
Bonus Tip: Don’t Ignore the “Small Stuff”
Sometimes the red flags aren’t loud. Maybe they interrupt you constantly, flirt with others while you’re together, or make subtle digs at your job or lifestyle. These “micro-red flags” can build up over time and lead to bigger issues.
